


Here We Are

by ShinigamiMailJeevas



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Had to be written, M/M, Past romance if you squint, Steve Rogers is...., Tony Stark Needs a Hug, before i lost my mind, don't even talk about him., some things can't be fixed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7092418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinigamiMailJeevas/pseuds/ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter what Rhodey had convinced himself of, Tony wasn't certain the consequences were truly worth it- right or wrong, all that was left were people bruised, battle-scarred and struggling to survive another day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here We Are

**Author's Note:**

> So I had to write this because, feels, and it was bugging the fk out of me. I debated for a bit on even posting this, as originally I wasn't going to. Still not certain if I made the right choice *sigh
> 
> “Here we Are – Icon For Hire” really inspired this, as you will see if you give a listen or at least look at lyrics..
> 
> .
> 
> .

"Did you know?" 

"I didn't know it was him..." 

"Don't lie to me, Rogers! Did You Know?" Tony shouted. His chest ached in a way it never did even with the shrapnel mere centimeters from killing him. This feeling was much worse, a literal griping of his heart, causing inconsistent, painful palpitations. 

_Please_ , let Steve say no.

"Yes."

Tony could forgive the soldier, the _asset_ , the man that had been taken captive and brainwashed and forced to repeat terrible acts again and again. He would never forget, but he could someday forgive - just as he had been forgiven for his own ignorance before Iron Man was ever a thought. Steve had no such leeway.

The suits faceplate slammed shut. 

Steve was supposed to be his friend, was supposed to understand that hiding something like that just wasn't _done_. The pressure in his chest built, constricting, until he was all but hyperventilating trying to catch his breath. 

Pepper was gone. The Avengers were gone. Rhodey was...

And now Steve. 

He ignored the pleas to stop amidst the fling of the shield. It was too late now, wasn't it? Nothing could be fixed. He was once more the man with everything and nothing. And so he fought with what was left.

So while he felt terrified when Steve held the shield above him, poised to bring it down and end him, Tony, a very small portion, wished for the death promised. 

A hand curled over the top of the shield, "Don't," Barnes said softly, body listing to the side in obvious pain. 

Tony wanted to scream, if only to distract from how his eyes misted. Barnes locked gazes with him for a long moment, searching for something. Whatever he found satisfied him. Maybe he was only looking for pain. Tony could understand then, why Barnes appeared calm and got Steve to leave him there in the snow. 

Alone.

Broken gauntlet to his eyes, Tony tried to stop the tears that no one was there to witness. Instead they fell faster, sliding down his face and into his hair; he let out a single shuddering sob. 

"Made of iron," he reminded himself when there was nothing left to cry. It was better when he never let himself feel.

 _"Boss, I suggest you get somewhere warm. The suit is damaged."_ Tony imagined FRIDAY's voice, but that was impossible with the comms damaged.

"FRIDAY?" Tony muttered in question, rolling onto his side with a hiss.

There was no answer. 

Curling in on himself, Tony closed his eyes. 

. 

How Tony woke to a bed at the Avengers training facility was something of a mystery, and judging by the furious expletives he got from Rhodey over the phone once he discovered he was awake, his friend had an idea. 

"If it weren't for FRIDAY alerting someone of the location your comms had gone down you would be dead! We chose this path knowing there would be consequences. Grow up and deal with them. And if you ever pull a stunt like _that_ again I will kill you myself!" Rhodey hung up on him, only for a call from General Ross to come moments later. 

Tony put that one on hold.

He had not tried to kill himself as Rhodey had so subtly suggested. Being too exhausted to care was different. Not the best place to simply stop giving a shit, but Tony was not exactly known for his timing. A small self-depreciating smile formed; if not for FRIDAY no one would have known he needed help. And if that didn't spell out his relationship status with the world, nothing would. 

He took the call off hold and immediately received an earful from Ross. Alone in the facility Tony did not have to pull on a mask as he explained himself to the man. He did not have to appear confident. 

If he managed to keep himself off the Raft the year wouldn’t be a total bust.

.

Tony stared at the letter in his hand, the one from Steve stating that help would always be there if it were needed. The phone that accompanied the letter was left abandoned on the desk. In a moment of anger Tony almost threw it across the room, would have in fact, had he not noticed the hastily scrawled Post Script on the letter. The handwriting was definitely not Steve's. 

Reading it, Tony doesn't know if laughter, tears or shouting would be a better reaction.

_I know 'i'm sorry' will never fix what has been done, or bring back the lives I have taken. I don't want forgiveness, just to let you know that I won't be a problem anymore. You will never hear from me again, not unless Hydra can be erased from my mind. I am 'sorry'. Find your peace, Stark._

Though unsigned, it was obvious who had written it and that it was not a Captain America approved message. That meant James 'Bucky' Barnes had written that to him of his own free will, and from the note, was going to be incapacitated until he could be helped. If ever. Tony had no idea what to feel, if he could feel more than empty. The knowledge that Barnes was out of play gave him no satisfaction.

What was this entire mess for then?

Hands curling into fists, the letter crinkled and tore. 

No matter what Rhodey had convinced himself of, Tony wasn't certain the consequences were truly worth it- right or wrong, all that was left were people bruised, battle-scarred and struggling to survive another day. 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything MARVEL (iron man/avengers/captain america movies/comics etc) nor do I make any money from them.


End file.
